He was a man who had been left some money in trusts, had a little time to spare, and he needed and wanted to know—so he asked. And his psychiatrist friend told him. Told him the only way you get along with a woman in your life—all your life, and hers too—is to do everything she says, all the time.
One night, the psychiatrist explained, she'll ask you if you don't mind—or, would you like—doing the dishes, and you will.
Next night, she'll ask you if you would like, or don't mind, doing the dishes and taking the dog for a walk, and you will.
And the next night she'll ask if you don't mind, or would you like, doing the dishes, taking the dog for a walk, and taking out the garbage, and you will.
And the night after that she'll ask you if you would like, or don't mind, doing the dishes, taking the dog for a walk, taking out the garbage, vacuuming the fucking carpet, and cleaning the bath tub rim too—and you won't.
And that will be it, then it's over.
See, said the psychiatrist, they set these ever bigger hurdles. Know why? Because they have it figured out that what they're asking is so wacky and unreasonable that if the guy actually does what they ask this can only be because the guy must love them, can be no other reason. Letting her walk all over him makes her secure and warm. Maybe a little bored too, can't be helped, but she'll shop to compensate.
Obviously the psychiatrist is gay, as many of them are. But he thought this does not detract much from what he'd said. Only that tone—and the little barb at the end.
Ins and Outs on the Ups and Downs that include some Notes on the Cut, Thrust and Parry that is part of the Great Game--Sexual Politics. And encompassing too Single Men and Women and the Pleasures of Youth.
