‘You know what Ross? A reason I’m fucking you is you remind me of my father.’
‘Christ...’ But this doesn’t stop Ross, Christ.
‘You remind me of my father. A lot.’
‘Jesus...Yes, you are a passionate spirit, a free lover of men, and the salt of this earth too...But I think you’ll come to a bad end.’
Yes, he means it. It is probably true.
She shifts herself, trying to hold him, asks, ‘Oh, well...don’t we all? You ever been on speed, Ross?’
‘Speed, huh?’
‘Uh huh, speed. See, I belong to the Fast Generation and we were raised on speed…Speed gets you back real fast. Great for fucking.’
‘Is that right?’
Saturday
Friday
(3) Sexual Phases of the Moon
Fucking her—yes, fucking her—on Machu Picchu was a man who had staggered out of a desert and toppled into an oasis, gulping water; but by Hong Kong fucking her was a singles bar sophisticate, ordering his fourth Martini, shaken not stirred.
What sick, sick mania—what sexual phases of the moon—seemingly require a man to sleep in a different bed every night?
Is he already bored?
God...surely not!
What sick, sick mania—what sexual phases of the moon—seemingly require a man to sleep in a different bed every night?
Is he already bored?
God...surely not!
Thursday
(2) Sexual Phases of the Moon
But as early as the Lima Sheraton or the airport—after returning from Machu Picchu—and certainly by Hawaii—she detected a change in their lovemaking. His throat never again rasped with quite the naked, helpless, desolate rawness of Machu Picchu, when, locked together, they overlooked the Urubamba River and he came inside her...
The hard, rasping kind of gasp that once rattled around his throat at Machu Picchu was by Hong Kong an easy, honey smooth sigh of sheerest satisfaction. And he was back in control.
But, God, could it have been as early as the Lima Sheraton?
Surely not!
God, God, surely not!
No...Nature surely cannot be that cruel, so unfeeling, that ruthless. Is pitiable man cursed and condemned to this? Pitiable, pitiable man.
Bored aleady!
The hard, rasping kind of gasp that once rattled around his throat at Machu Picchu was by Hong Kong an easy, honey smooth sigh of sheerest satisfaction. And he was back in control.
But, God, could it have been as early as the Lima Sheraton?
Surely not!
God, God, surely not!
No...Nature surely cannot be that cruel, so unfeeling, that ruthless. Is pitiable man cursed and condemned to this? Pitiable, pitiable man.
Bored aleady!
Sunday
(1) Sexual Phases of the Moon
Her heart changes, even if this—to her slightly guilty surprise—is only a little later.
Maybe, she thinks bitterly, a little later, he is having some phase of the moon. Some phase of the moon affecting his sex drive, lowering his sex drive.
A phase of the moon is it, or…
Or, maybe, on the other hand...On the other hand, the indefinable catch in his voice that very first time—out on the mountain in the morning—was never quite the same again, was it?
And perhaps this, in some important way, has something to do with what’s happened. The catch in his voice then had a certain something indefinable—a certain abject, Oh-God-I-can’t-help-myself, my-need-is-so-great, trapped-animal quality to it—that first morning. Anyway, making her glad not to be him. Not to be a man.
Wednesday
Unique way of summoning men to her apartment
She has a unique way of summoning men to her apartment.
This involves a trick with her husband’s cat.
She has trained the cat to approach men in a sweet and charming way by brushing itself around their legs, twisting itself against their preferably bare shins and ankles in a gentle and pleasantly sensual manner. The cat is well known in the building, and this action signals that it wishes to be taken home in the elevator. Accompanying the cat in the elevator, the man gets out on her apartment floor—and the cat leads whoever it is to her front door. Here the cat starts to meow repeatedly, in increasing volume until she appears to open the door.
This she does with a shy, thankful smile, and often in a state of undress, having ‘just showered.’
She is an artist, is imaginative, and somewhat unstable.
The cat appears to select men in some kind of random process, which possibly adds to the piquancy of the whole thing.The great irony is that the husband dotes totally on the cat, treating it more like a son than a mere animal.
This involves a trick with her husband’s cat.
She has trained the cat to approach men in a sweet and charming way by brushing itself around their legs, twisting itself against their preferably bare shins and ankles in a gentle and pleasantly sensual manner. The cat is well known in the building, and this action signals that it wishes to be taken home in the elevator. Accompanying the cat in the elevator, the man gets out on her apartment floor—and the cat leads whoever it is to her front door. Here the cat starts to meow repeatedly, in increasing volume until she appears to open the door.
This she does with a shy, thankful smile, and often in a state of undress, having ‘just showered.’
She is an artist, is imaginative, and somewhat unstable.
The cat appears to select men in some kind of random process, which possibly adds to the piquancy of the whole thing.The great irony is that the husband dotes totally on the cat, treating it more like a son than a mere animal.
Sunday
Everyday Lament of a Simple Man
He was in bitter-sweet mood, more bitter than sweet.
You know, he went on, in the month before we married, we had more sex in that time than in a year these days. Sex had been freely given, with what looked like enthusiasm too, practically anytime and anywhere.
Now all it did was cost. Cost him time, money, and doing things. And all that still was not enough. More cost, less sex. He ended up, he said, doing it by hand.
He seemed to be looking for sympathy, empathy, something. His eyes got distant.
Yeah well, he went on, thank God for Molly Palm and her five daughters. And the fact that he never left home without them, being joined at the wrist, so to speak. Ha! Ha! He never had to look for them either, when the time came, see. And cost him nothing. His laugh, when it came, was small.
You know, he went on, in the month before we married, we had more sex in that time than in a year these days. Sex had been freely given, with what looked like enthusiasm too, practically anytime and anywhere.
Now all it did was cost. Cost him time, money, and doing things. And all that still was not enough. More cost, less sex. He ended up, he said, doing it by hand.
He seemed to be looking for sympathy, empathy, something. His eyes got distant.
Yeah well, he went on, thank God for Molly Palm and her five daughters. And the fact that he never left home without them, being joined at the wrist, so to speak. Ha! Ha! He never had to look for them either, when the time came, see. And cost him nothing. His laugh, when it came, was small.
Wednesday
The Meaning of Life—Official
To have some little excitement, well, you have to have a Little Fever.
A Little Fever goes a long, long way, though. Long enough for him. And he has Two.
They both seem to want a piece of little him, so why not?
Let them work out who gets what, when and who sleeps where. He doesn’t mind.
All life is about...easy orgasms, many as possible. And, if you are fortunate, a gentle death in the night.
And how does he know this? In mid-orgasm he does not ask where he is, or where he is going, or why. He knows. He is, just is. Jolted into pleasurably being, knowing this is where he wants to be.
Life is as many easy orgasms as you can have, and then you die—and if you are very fortunate, you die fucking.
A Little Fever goes a long, long way, though. Long enough for him. And he has Two.
They both seem to want a piece of little him, so why not?
Let them work out who gets what, when and who sleeps where. He doesn’t mind.
All life is about...easy orgasms, many as possible. And, if you are fortunate, a gentle death in the night.
And how does he know this? In mid-orgasm he does not ask where he is, or where he is going, or why. He knows. He is, just is. Jolted into pleasurably being, knowing this is where he wants to be.
Life is as many easy orgasms as you can have, and then you die—and if you are very fortunate, you die fucking.
Tuesday
(2) A year in the Life of a Would-be Model
Unposed, candid, sweet pictures of strange, compelling intimacy and raw power in someone so young, so beautiful, totally unafraid.
Among the rawest, sweetest, most powerful is this: A candid, matte blow up of a young woman fitting a tampon. Totally innocent, wholly honest, fully female, summing up what it is...to be a Young Woman with Tampon.
Summing up A Would-be Model. Disturbing, memorable, without guile, and without question original. No question.Her old Swiss art teacher would be proud.
Among the rawest, sweetest, most powerful is this: A candid, matte blow up of a young woman fitting a tampon. Totally innocent, wholly honest, fully female, summing up what it is...to be a Young Woman with Tampon.
Summing up A Would-be Model. Disturbing, memorable, without guile, and without question original. No question.Her old Swiss art teacher would be proud.
Sunday
(1) A Year in the Life of a Would-be Model
The daily life of this Would-be Model over a year comprises hundreds of candid Canons of her in assorted states of undress, mood and manner. Of her, in any day and everyday moody madness.
Unposed pictures—genuine, truly unposed pictures—of her, say, rising from a water closet seat from behind the unclosed door; her, riding a pillow, to plain, simple everyday fantastical masturbatory orgasm; and her heaped on her bed, collapsed under a handful of mellow yellows.
Her…candid, unposed, kneeling on a carpet, legs slightly apart in a Y, her short party dress riding above sheer white panties, her face stretching into a yawn—Is this end of a late night or start of an early morning?—and tugging at her thin shoulder strap with one hand, with the other searching her exposed crotch.
Unposed pictures—genuine, truly unposed pictures—of her, say, rising from a water closet seat from behind the unclosed door; her, riding a pillow, to plain, simple everyday fantastical masturbatory orgasm; and her heaped on her bed, collapsed under a handful of mellow yellows.
Her…candid, unposed, kneeling on a carpet, legs slightly apart in a Y, her short party dress riding above sheer white panties, her face stretching into a yawn—Is this end of a late night or start of an early morning?—and tugging at her thin shoulder strap with one hand, with the other searching her exposed crotch.
Saturday
Politically incorrect things he said (so politically correct don't read further...)
Italian women had great buns, but they were over by thirty.
French women were extremely sour, and they were constipated at the most inconvenient times. This often made sex unpredictable.
Chinese women, in particular, he said, found oral sex unclean and distasteful.
Asian men, in general, he said, came with smaller ‘packages.’ So that during the Vietnam War era Afro-American men enjoyed high demand.
How he knew all this was not clear, but knew it he did. He spoke with great authority.
His most politically incorrect statement he saved for last…Jewish women, he said, were great in bed but monsters anywhere else. Except for his mother, they were all hookers. And looking around for his wife as he spoke—looking out of the corner of his eye, and with his mouth twisted towards his listener—he added, more softly, ‘They can also hear things at great distances.’
French women were extremely sour, and they were constipated at the most inconvenient times. This often made sex unpredictable.
Chinese women, in particular, he said, found oral sex unclean and distasteful.
Asian men, in general, he said, came with smaller ‘packages.’ So that during the Vietnam War era Afro-American men enjoyed high demand.
How he knew all this was not clear, but knew it he did. He spoke with great authority.
His most politically incorrect statement he saved for last…Jewish women, he said, were great in bed but monsters anywhere else. Except for his mother, they were all hookers. And looking around for his wife as he spoke—looking out of the corner of his eye, and with his mouth twisted towards his listener—he added, more softly, ‘They can also hear things at great distances.’
Friday
He was not envious
She made her lover pull out on the point of coming. She said two or three times a day—minimum.
When he heard her say this, far from being envious, all he could feel was involuntary, sharp pain. And he could not bump into her again without feeling discomfort.
When he heard her say this, far from being envious, all he could feel was involuntary, sharp pain. And he could not bump into her again without feeling discomfort.
Thursday
Her great secret
‘I am going to tell you a great secret.’
She murmurs softly to him, in her slightly insane musical tones. He will listen well.
‘I don’t know why I am going to tell you this. But I suppose it is because I know you will go away soon, accustomed as I have grown to you. You will go away soon, and I will leave you with something of me.’
‘You have already. You have given me everything.’ True, no longer was he a boy. She has made him something...something more.
‘No, no, no.’ She shakes her head, remonstrating with him. ‘Not everything. And this...’ She points at the two of them in the mirror overhead, lying naked in the sun, on her bed of black satin sheets, ‘...is not everything. For a woman. Even for me.’
Fucking for her, it seems, is not everything. He nods his head, waiting for her to continue…
She doesn’t. The great secret is out. Has been told.
She murmurs softly to him, in her slightly insane musical tones. He will listen well.
‘I don’t know why I am going to tell you this. But I suppose it is because I know you will go away soon, accustomed as I have grown to you. You will go away soon, and I will leave you with something of me.’
‘You have already. You have given me everything.’ True, no longer was he a boy. She has made him something...something more.
‘No, no, no.’ She shakes her head, remonstrating with him. ‘Not everything. And this...’ She points at the two of them in the mirror overhead, lying naked in the sun, on her bed of black satin sheets, ‘...is not everything. For a woman. Even for me.’
Fucking for her, it seems, is not everything. He nods his head, waiting for her to continue…
She doesn’t. The great secret is out. Has been told.
Sunday
How to pick up an older man in a famous Paris hotel Bar
She sees him glance down at his slim, flat case. Thinking, should he or should he not?
God, how much prompting does he need? Looking down, like some country boy…at a country fair. She says, ‘What would you have done? Say I’d been one of your daughters’ friends...And you ran across me in Paris...And I was drinking cocktails alone, looking out of everything. Lonely little damsel...’
Gaaawd, must she start flashing green lights, all over, like some road sign…Lonely little damsel, in distress. Gaaawd’s Sake!
‘I’d say, Listen, aren’t you...? You’d say, Yes I am, and then I’d say, Why don’t you have dinner with me? Anyway, coffee. Madge, or maybe Jenny, will never forgive us...’
Congratulations! ‘So why don’t we play act?’ Like Madge or Jenny will never forgive them, right?
Say she doesn’t fuck their father.
God, how much prompting does he need? Looking down, like some country boy…at a country fair. She says, ‘What would you have done? Say I’d been one of your daughters’ friends...And you ran across me in Paris...And I was drinking cocktails alone, looking out of everything. Lonely little damsel...’
Gaaawd, must she start flashing green lights, all over, like some road sign…Lonely little damsel, in distress. Gaaawd’s Sake!
‘I’d say, Listen, aren’t you...? You’d say, Yes I am, and then I’d say, Why don’t you have dinner with me? Anyway, coffee. Madge, or maybe Jenny, will never forgive us...’
Congratulations! ‘So why don’t we play act?’ Like Madge or Jenny will never forgive them, right?
Say she doesn’t fuck their father.
Friday
Ridiculous...but
As he aged, he found himself going with women younger and younger. Even he knew this was ridiculous, but he could not bring himself to change.
Thursday
(2) A Man Speaks of Eating Pussy
I like your refreshing honesty on the topic. Boring...like eating pussy...it can take forever, if you are not careful. Fortunately there is nothing much to swallow, most of the time. But there are exceptions...
Wednesday
(1) A Woman Speaks of Giving Head
Giving head to a man is often quite disgusting, to be honest with you, and sometimes when it takes a long time for him it is sooo boring!!!
Tuesday
(2) Thirty Minute Rule
It is also said that once a Man and a Woman decide a prospect exists for pursuing one another further, then within thirty minutes:
The Woman tends to hint at having an unusually strong libido.
The Man tends to hint that a long term commitment is feasible.
The Woman tends to hint at having an unusually strong libido.
The Man tends to hint that a long term commitment is feasible.
Sunday
(1) Three Second Rule
It is said that men and women decide within three seconds of meeting whether any prospect exists for pursuing one another further.
Men decide the issue by asking themselves: ‘Is a one night stand possible tonight?’
Women decide the issue by asking themselves: ‘Can I see myself with this man for the rest of our lives?’
Very first impressions—whether conscious or not—made within three seconds on meeting, decide everything, it is said.
Men decide the issue by asking themselves: ‘Is a one night stand possible tonight?’
Women decide the issue by asking themselves: ‘Can I see myself with this man for the rest of our lives?’
Very first impressions—whether conscious or not—made within three seconds on meeting, decide everything, it is said.
Tuesday
How to do it
She can’t get enough of him. He knows, he knows.
Once he creates an orgasm by gently tugging—finally sharply—her pubic hairs.
He plays her pubic hairs like they are harp strings while he makes her watch Sixty Minutes in full.
All he does, he plays her pubic hairs, gently, from A minor through K major to Z flat. And then, finally, sharply...Very.
And when she screams her way around that particular mountain, oboy how she does. Something rattles so hard in her throat—some choking, strangled cry—he is startled into minor panic.
Once he creates an orgasm by gently tugging—finally sharply—her pubic hairs.
He plays her pubic hairs like they are harp strings while he makes her watch Sixty Minutes in full.
All he does, he plays her pubic hairs, gently, from A minor through K major to Z flat. And then, finally, sharply...Very.
And when she screams her way around that particular mountain, oboy how she does. Something rattles so hard in her throat—some choking, strangled cry—he is startled into minor panic.
Monday
Advice from the Wynn Poker Room Advisor...
If you can make her laugh, you can lay her too.
Don’t ever tell a woman that you love her. Cut your throat instead.
The easiest lay is your girl friend’s best friend. She’s been laying for you ever since she got introduced.
Don’t ever tell a woman that you love her. Cut your throat instead.
The easiest lay is your girl friend’s best friend. She’s been laying for you ever since she got introduced.
Saturday
How you know you are Breaking Up
Was The Game over?
She had wanted to move in, he didn't let her. She'd wanted him to meet her folks, he wouldn't. She had asked if they could fit in a quick trip together to Paris, France—maybe even Madrid on the way back. Found it on the Net. Practically cost nothing. Pleeease. Liked to have seen the Prado with him. He couldn't make it, no time see. You see, ABC, CDE...MBA. You see, you know, the Course. He had to finish Harvard. Why was he in Boston?
She had wanted just a week end in Newport, Rhode Island. All I ask. You work too hard. Should relax a little. See Cliff Walk. Maybe walk on Cliff Walk. Cliff Walk was not Paris, nor the Prado, but it was something. He couldn't do that either.
So what was there for her?
And he'd had to agree.
Pieces of the relationship were falling down all around her.
He'd had to agree.
You know the relationship is breaking up when pieces of what you have invested yourself in keep falling down all around you—and on your head and heart. And he'd had to agree.
She had wanted to move in, he didn't let her. She'd wanted him to meet her folks, he wouldn't. She had asked if they could fit in a quick trip together to Paris, France—maybe even Madrid on the way back. Found it on the Net. Practically cost nothing. Pleeease. Liked to have seen the Prado with him. He couldn't make it, no time see. You see, ABC, CDE...MBA. You see, you know, the Course. He had to finish Harvard. Why was he in Boston?
She had wanted just a week end in Newport, Rhode Island. All I ask. You work too hard. Should relax a little. See Cliff Walk. Maybe walk on Cliff Walk. Cliff Walk was not Paris, nor the Prado, but it was something. He couldn't do that either.
So what was there for her?
And he'd had to agree.
Pieces of the relationship were falling down all around her.
He'd had to agree.
You know the relationship is breaking up when pieces of what you have invested yourself in keep falling down all around you—and on your head and heart. And he'd had to agree.
Wednesday
Daddy's fault she's into older men
Only...if she doesn't get it soon, she'll be climbing the wall. Yes...It. It she must have...and soon too.
Damn Post Menstrual Torment, as opposed to damn Pre Menstrual Terror. Damn, damn, damn. Triple damn.
Strokes are fine, give her the morning jolt. A steady strum on her yum yum.
She does not truly wake up, does she? Not without her clit calling, talking, saying...Hand, in hell you been, I need you down here.
Gets her big, sleepy eyes open, okay. But all the same, she likes fucking better. Yes, just the same, she does. Fucking older guys.
For some reason or the other. Some weird reason. What can that mystic reason be?
All because daddy didn't love his itty bitty wittle princess into teeny weeny pieces—or just love her to the moon and back? Is this all?
Daddy dearest didn't love her. Naughty, naughty daddy.
Damn Post Menstrual Torment, as opposed to damn Pre Menstrual Terror. Damn, damn, damn. Triple damn.
Strokes are fine, give her the morning jolt. A steady strum on her yum yum.
She does not truly wake up, does she? Not without her clit calling, talking, saying...Hand, in hell you been, I need you down here.
Gets her big, sleepy eyes open, okay. But all the same, she likes fucking better. Yes, just the same, she does. Fucking older guys.
For some reason or the other. Some weird reason. What can that mystic reason be?
All because daddy didn't love his itty bitty wittle princess into teeny weeny pieces—or just love her to the moon and back? Is this all?
Daddy dearest didn't love her. Naughty, naughty daddy.
Thursday
What is life, after all?
Business is not booming, and the bored cocktail waitress gives him that bored cocktail waitress look. The little look that tends to bore even him—more and more, more than even she looks. That same old look that is not the fun it once was to him, at least not today. Challenging him. I am so bored, I challenge you to amuse me, Mister Fuckin' Wonderful... That's you, right? Mister Fuckin' Wonderful...
Not that he doesn't get bored too. He is bored, right now. Sense failure, call it failure of his bright red-blooded, American-male senses. His senses fail him sometimes, they are so overloaded, especially with the Same One, over and over again. Fail him like almost happened tonight, before alighting in this bar, sitting down, drinking.
True, he has lived—and lives—on, off, by and for pussy. What red-blooded... Still does.
The sight, taste, smell, feel—and—sound of pussy.
What is life, after all?
It's pussy, stupid.
But sometimes even his senses fail him. Even he can get bored, can't always get it up. Happens.
Hell, happens...
Not that he doesn't get bored too. He is bored, right now. Sense failure, call it failure of his bright red-blooded, American-male senses. His senses fail him sometimes, they are so overloaded, especially with the Same One, over and over again. Fail him like almost happened tonight, before alighting in this bar, sitting down, drinking.
True, he has lived—and lives—on, off, by and for pussy. What red-blooded... Still does.
The sight, taste, smell, feel—and—sound of pussy.
What is life, after all?
It's pussy, stupid.
But sometimes even his senses fail him. Even he can get bored, can't always get it up. Happens.
Hell, happens...
Even her mom did...
At first, he was the only one having trouble with her orgasms, she was not.
She was not happy that she had none, but neither was she especially unhappy.
She was handling not having orgasms...but then she edged into feeling guilty. She felt guilty about him feeling guilty.
She began to feel guilty, and after that, guilty and ashamed.
It seemed to her everybody in the world had great, shattering, overwhelming orgasms—except her. Even her mother did.
The twist in her psychology began...
She was not happy that she had none, but neither was she especially unhappy.
She was handling not having orgasms...but then she edged into feeling guilty. She felt guilty about him feeling guilty.
She began to feel guilty, and after that, guilty and ashamed.
It seemed to her everybody in the world had great, shattering, overwhelming orgasms—except her. Even her mother did.
The twist in her psychology began...
Mother knows best
You never know, her mother said. A man might have had the most wonderful afternoon and night of getting to know a woman.
And then still run off with somebody else the next morning.
Men had short memories. What turned a man on even more—much more—than a good woman who listened to his sports or war time exploits...was sex. Actual sex.
And she'll say this again, see, her mother would say, because this was the truth...Even if she, her daughter, didn't like hearing her mother say this again and again, which she didn't.
Given the choice between sex and even the most wonderful one-sided conversation about sports and war time exploits, a man took sex every time. And he also took sex ahead of flower arrangements, painting and glazing Easter eggs, making beds with crisp, sharp corners or ironing sharp, crisp shirt collars. Every time.
And she, her daughter, better know it.
And then still run off with somebody else the next morning.
Men had short memories. What turned a man on even more—much more—than a good woman who listened to his sports or war time exploits...was sex. Actual sex.
And she'll say this again, see, her mother would say, because this was the truth...Even if she, her daughter, didn't like hearing her mother say this again and again, which she didn't.
Given the choice between sex and even the most wonderful one-sided conversation about sports and war time exploits, a man took sex every time. And he also took sex ahead of flower arrangements, painting and glazing Easter eggs, making beds with crisp, sharp corners or ironing sharp, crisp shirt collars. Every time.
And she, her daughter, better know it.
Wednesday
Nothing to worry about...Can happen
Back at the hotel, they dance in the hotel nightclub. They dance a couple of slow close ups too, and the lead pipe is back again, though it comes and goes.
Has her wondering, that—a little.
It stayed up all night at the party.
But he has not been focused. He has not been himself. His mind is elsewhere. And she doesn't press him. She guesses that buying banks, whatever, isn't always a breeze.
And Cosmo said, Nothing to worry about...Happens.
Has her wondering, that—a little.
It stayed up all night at the party.
But he has not been focused. He has not been himself. His mind is elsewhere. And she doesn't press him. She guesses that buying banks, whatever, isn't always a breeze.
And Cosmo said, Nothing to worry about...Happens.
Thursday
Every how many minutes guys think...
Yes, guys thinking about sex every three or four minutes is about right.
The survey he read has this more or less correct. Jeez, Einstein too.
Same survey had black guys thinking about sex every twenty one seconds.
Jeez! Can this be so?
Even though he asked a black guy in the office, and the black guy said he thought about sex not every twenty one seconds but all the time.
Can't be, though, can it?
The survey he read has this more or less correct. Jeez, Einstein too.
Same survey had black guys thinking about sex every twenty one seconds.
Jeez! Can this be so?
Even though he asked a black guy in the office, and the black guy said he thought about sex not every twenty one seconds but all the time.
Can't be, though, can it?
Wednesday
Good vibrations
In her mind's eye—even as she lies wrecked, beached and blown on the bed, well vibrated and wide spread—she is left with a vision of these kinda cute little curls of smoke rising from between her legs. All this in the eye of her mind...
Good, clean, guaranteed fun.
God, will any man ever come up to her vibrator?
Good, clean, guaranteed fun.
God, will any man ever come up to her vibrator?
Thursday
(2) Relationships are not built to last, okay
Something in any relationship is built to fail, like manufacturers of light bulbs make them last only so long. And generally to blow at bad moments, leaving you without light.
Relationships are like this, so too with relationships. He has himself blown more than a few.
And he sees with a sad clarity the tragic side to this inbuilt obsolescence in nature.
Anyway, tragic side or not, the attraction, a place to stay, whatever his cocktail waitress once had for him at the start of summer is over with the very first turning leaves of fall.
With the end of that summer, whatever had been was and is no more, and never will be again. Kind of, a light bulb fused. He heard the ping one morning, lying in bed, she by his side, trying. A bad moment to blow, like it usually was.
Relationships are like this, so too with relationships. He has himself blown more than a few.
And he sees with a sad clarity the tragic side to this inbuilt obsolescence in nature.
Anyway, tragic side or not, the attraction, a place to stay, whatever his cocktail waitress once had for him at the start of summer is over with the very first turning leaves of fall.
With the end of that summer, whatever had been was and is no more, and never will be again. Kind of, a light bulb fused. He heard the ping one morning, lying in bed, she by his side, trying. A bad moment to blow, like it usually was.
Wednesday
(1) Relationships are not built to last, okay
He goes back to school after the long vac. And never sees this cocktail waitress again.
See, nothing ever lasts.
Receptionist, radiologist, Rockette, runaway, or romance writer. Some genetic failure in mankind makes this so.
He spent the last vac with her, they had fun, they truly, truly did. And she can't get enough of him, he knows. But he never wants to see her again. Amazing, incredible, tragic—and true.
She, in the end, bores him. And nobody's fault either. Nobody's. Which is, he sees, a tragedy—not a comedy at all. A sad inevitability, and no laughing matter.
See, nothing ever lasts.
Receptionist, radiologist, Rockette, runaway, or romance writer. Some genetic failure in mankind makes this so.
He spent the last vac with her, they had fun, they truly, truly did. And she can't get enough of him, he knows. But he never wants to see her again. Amazing, incredible, tragic—and true.
She, in the end, bores him. And nobody's fault either. Nobody's. Which is, he sees, a tragedy—not a comedy at all. A sad inevitability, and no laughing matter.
Saturday
Just a guy thing she will never understand
He decides, somewhere over the South China Sea, that he best not tell her after all.
She will never understand. Will never even want to understand.
So never tell her that while she is fucking him, he'll be thinking of somebody else.
This is a guy thing, only guys really get it. You have to belong to the guy club.
Like the other day, when he was feeling fucked out.
Only, kind of fucked out.
Because, in reality, on the hop out of Honolulu he kind of related to the air hostess in first while she went out to brush her teeth. She, being her--not the air hostess.
This air hostess--the other Japanese air hostess, not the coffee one--gave him a look. Absent her, and he'd have had the air hostess' name and a number. Maybe he and the hostess could have met in the bar of her hotel in Tokio, a short hop from her hotel room. And maybe they could have fucked.
No, this is definitely a guy thing. She would never get it. She, her--not the air hostess--would never get it. He was fucked out, yes, but not really.
She will never understand. Will never even want to understand.
So never tell her that while she is fucking him, he'll be thinking of somebody else.
This is a guy thing, only guys really get it. You have to belong to the guy club.
Like the other day, when he was feeling fucked out.
Only, kind of fucked out.
Because, in reality, on the hop out of Honolulu he kind of related to the air hostess in first while she went out to brush her teeth. She, being her--not the air hostess.
This air hostess--the other Japanese air hostess, not the coffee one--gave him a look. Absent her, and he'd have had the air hostess' name and a number. Maybe he and the hostess could have met in the bar of her hotel in Tokio, a short hop from her hotel room. And maybe they could have fucked.
No, this is definitely a guy thing. She would never get it. She, her--not the air hostess--would never get it. He was fucked out, yes, but not really.
Monday
Very casual sex
Very casual sex
Well, maybe one more time. If she's back tomorrow, he'll know why. She loves casual too, loves a little strange herself.
Jesus, if she is back tomorrow he won't need to waste any time at all.
Maybe simply dump themselves on the bed, she can make the bed later.
Get that stupid housekeeper's uniform clear, yank down those green panties fast. With her helping, he'll get in, and in seconds. All it will take this time around...seconds.
He'll be at the airport and out of the city by noon.
Well, maybe one more time. If she's back tomorrow, he'll know why. She loves casual too, loves a little strange herself.
Jesus, if she is back tomorrow he won't need to waste any time at all.
Maybe simply dump themselves on the bed, she can make the bed later.
Get that stupid housekeeper's uniform clear, yank down those green panties fast. With her helping, he'll get in, and in seconds. All it will take this time around...seconds.
He'll be at the airport and out of the city by noon.
Thursday
Ignoring is a great tactic, but don't take it too far
A few kind words. He'll have to think up something special to say, he hasn't seen her in so long. Ignored her, in fact. Not having seen her for months is some kind of aphrodisiac too--for him. But poison to her. She'll be hostile. He must expect suspicion too.This is an unpleasant but very likely consequence of not seeing her for so long. Ignoring, if not done tactically and with precision, turns septic.
It couldn't last, could it?
She found somebody else. Why wouldn't she? Anybody with her body and looks would have no trouble finding. She didn't.
So...She broke up, not him.
First, she was going to be his friend anyway, whatever. They'd still meet. Christ, they'd had some great times hadn't they? She'd make it happen, see if she didn't.
Maybe they could still fuck, occasionally? Be kind of fuck-buddies?
But she didn't, as he knew she wouldn't. Couldn't, to be more accurate. She had this new guy who was into baseball so bad. A big, major Red Sox fan. Tried to go to every home game, he did. And even not home games. Took her along.
She claimed she loved it, a new experience. But he knew she didn't. She'd already told him how she hated all sports, especially stupid baseball. Maybe golf was somehow okay.
So he knew it couldn't last, and it didn't. But by then he'd be somewhere else. Somewhere far out of her life, and into another life of his own.
So...She broke up, not him.
First, she was going to be his friend anyway, whatever. They'd still meet. Christ, they'd had some great times hadn't they? She'd make it happen, see if she didn't.
Maybe they could still fuck, occasionally? Be kind of fuck-buddies?
But she didn't, as he knew she wouldn't. Couldn't, to be more accurate. She had this new guy who was into baseball so bad. A big, major Red Sox fan. Tried to go to every home game, he did. And even not home games. Took her along.
She claimed she loved it, a new experience. But he knew she didn't. She'd already told him how she hated all sports, especially stupid baseball. Maybe golf was somehow okay.
So he knew it couldn't last, and it didn't. But by then he'd be somewhere else. Somewhere far out of her life, and into another life of his own.
Saturday
Memories are something
'You are a dope.'
'I don't know. I think I have something.'
He had spent all this money on dinner. Champagne, caviar, foie gras... And she implied that it had been wasteful. Perhaps implying too that the money would have been better spent on a dress for her, maybe shoes. Earrings, perhaps?
'Oh, yeah?' she asks. Not unkindly.
'Recollections...Dreams of good times. Memories.'
'You are a dope,' she says good-naturedly. And punches his upper arm very lightly.
And so he has a pang. He is...panged.
But she is not to know. All it is, he wishes she hadn't said it quite that way. She reminds him of his wife those many years ago, when his wife wasted champagne by the bucket. And then he tipped the taxi driver a tip more than his wife could stand, never mind all the champagne his wife had wasted. And his wife had called him a dope.
'I don't know. I think I have something.'
He had spent all this money on dinner. Champagne, caviar, foie gras... And she implied that it had been wasteful. Perhaps implying too that the money would have been better spent on a dress for her, maybe shoes. Earrings, perhaps?
'Oh, yeah?' she asks. Not unkindly.
'Recollections...Dreams of good times. Memories.'
'You are a dope,' she says good-naturedly. And punches his upper arm very lightly.
And so he has a pang. He is...panged.
But she is not to know. All it is, he wishes she hadn't said it quite that way. She reminds him of his wife those many years ago, when his wife wasted champagne by the bucket. And then he tipped the taxi driver a tip more than his wife could stand, never mind all the champagne his wife had wasted. And his wife had called him a dope.
Thursday
Best don't get between your man—and another man
So what would—can—a woman ask who comes across her man poised to enter...another man?
Call all this her woman's intuition, conjecture, fragmentary knowledge. But this much she will know...A man with a hard-on is always right because he can't think about anything else at all—at this time. Her man will simply and unthinkingly place himself in the right. Right or wrong, this is what he will do.
To ask him anything is useless, will only end up in shouting—maybe worse. So this time is not right for questions. A man with a hard-on's prime, total, immediate, vital—and only concern—in his life at this moment in time is to get himself off.
Her man's thoughts will be concentrated in his prick. Without question this is not a good time...Not a good time for anything other than to back off.
Men in this situation probably don't appreciate female voyeurs either.
Best to close a bedroom door. And close another Chapter—or hopefully only a Verse and not a Book—in her life over the long run of time.
Of course, not a wonderful feeling...
Call all this her woman's intuition, conjecture, fragmentary knowledge. But this much she will know...A man with a hard-on is always right because he can't think about anything else at all—at this time. Her man will simply and unthinkingly place himself in the right. Right or wrong, this is what he will do.
To ask him anything is useless, will only end up in shouting—maybe worse. So this time is not right for questions. A man with a hard-on's prime, total, immediate, vital—and only concern—in his life at this moment in time is to get himself off.
Her man's thoughts will be concentrated in his prick. Without question this is not a good time...Not a good time for anything other than to back off.
Men in this situation probably don't appreciate female voyeurs either.
Best to close a bedroom door. And close another Chapter—or hopefully only a Verse and not a Book—in her life over the long run of time.
Of course, not a wonderful feeling...
Friday
2) Before the brush off, things were different
He'd said, Why don't you go down on your fours? I want your baby...
She said she remembered very clearly this was said. His voice unsteady in the saying, remembered that too.
'Did he really say, I want your baby? Really?'
Yes, really, she insisted. He really did.
She'd even made a mental note--half question, half answer--pleased that he felt that way, and her response had been almost Pavlovian.
'So then...what?'
Pavlov, that's what. Pavlov. She went on all fours was what. And had his baby for him.
'Now...what?'
Somehow, she had an idea that he would not be pleased, be jumping for joy on the springs in his steps all the way to Babyland. To buy clothes for baby, buy champagne for everybody else. Be wanting to get married as soon as the licensing office opened.
Even though he did once say, I want your baby.
And she had responded. Dropped down on all fours, let him drop her panties too.
She said she remembered very clearly this was said. His voice unsteady in the saying, remembered that too.
'Did he really say, I want your baby? Really?'
Yes, really, she insisted. He really did.
She'd even made a mental note--half question, half answer--pleased that he felt that way, and her response had been almost Pavlovian.
'So then...what?'
Pavlov, that's what. Pavlov. She went on all fours was what. And had his baby for him.
'Now...what?'
Somehow, she had an idea that he would not be pleased, be jumping for joy on the springs in his steps all the way to Babyland. To buy clothes for baby, buy champagne for everybody else. Be wanting to get married as soon as the licensing office opened.
Even though he did once say, I want your baby.
And she had responded. Dropped down on all fours, let him drop her panties too.
Wednesday
1) Anatomy of the brush off as she described it...
As she described it...he shook his head, pursed his lips, his face was in obvious pain. His glassy pensive eyes looked past her shoulder, over steam that was rising from his coffee and riding the air between them, making her turn around to see who was there.
No, he was not trying to say anything specific, he said. Only he was going through some kind of damned phase... Damned phase, introspection, call it what she wanted. He was taking a hard look at himself, inside his own person. And the fact was that, did she know what, all in all, whatever the outside, whatever his personal packaging, he didn't think he was, in general, good material. Of any kind.
She said she was tired, and all she said was, 'Oh...'
Well, he went on, he was no bargain when it came to women, and women shouldn't get involved. See, he was...a cracked plate. This was the sad, sad conclusion he'd come to.
'I think you're being too hard on yourself,' she said, 'I really do.'
Look, he went on, maybe he'd shake it off. The mood. Kind of like he was walking in a cloud--depressing mist--that totally enveloped him. He sure damn hoped to shake it off, because the fact was he found it painful to have such a low opinion of himself over something as basic and important as human relationships.
She saw his face crumple again, in obvious pain. She tried to take his hand, but he pulled it away slowly and gently. She watched his hand recede from hers, slowly. He was not worthy, see. He was not worthy even of touching the elastomer fabric of her panties. Not anymore...
And one time, he was always doing that--pulling on the elastomer, removing her panties.
No, he was not trying to say anything specific, he said. Only he was going through some kind of damned phase... Damned phase, introspection, call it what she wanted. He was taking a hard look at himself, inside his own person. And the fact was that, did she know what, all in all, whatever the outside, whatever his personal packaging, he didn't think he was, in general, good material. Of any kind.
She said she was tired, and all she said was, 'Oh...'
Well, he went on, he was no bargain when it came to women, and women shouldn't get involved. See, he was...a cracked plate. This was the sad, sad conclusion he'd come to.
'I think you're being too hard on yourself,' she said, 'I really do.'
Look, he went on, maybe he'd shake it off. The mood. Kind of like he was walking in a cloud--depressing mist--that totally enveloped him. He sure damn hoped to shake it off, because the fact was he found it painful to have such a low opinion of himself over something as basic and important as human relationships.
She saw his face crumple again, in obvious pain. She tried to take his hand, but he pulled it away slowly and gently. She watched his hand recede from hers, slowly. He was not worthy, see. He was not worthy even of touching the elastomer fabric of her panties. Not anymore...
And one time, he was always doing that--pulling on the elastomer, removing her panties.
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